Think of a magnet which has a negative pole and a positive pole. If the negative pole represents the masculine and your guy shows up in his masculine and you also show up in your masculine…. guess what happens…you repel each other, you fight for power and dominance.
Romance is a dance, not a power struggle or a game with a winner and a loser.
In our society today we are programmed to win. Set goals, achieve and win…. the sports industry is a multi-billion dollar industry and most sports generally proclaim a winner and a loser. Great for sports and there is a necessary place for that in many areas of our society…yet in our romantic relationships, this strategy will most often cause a lot of unnecessary suffering.
Who wants to be at the winning end or losing end in a romantic connection? Neither party actually…the so called ‘winner’ may feel a short-lived sense of accomplishment yet if you love your partner and are connected to them most often you’ll also feel a niggling ‘guilt’ or you’ll pick up on how bad they are feeling. Why? because everyone wants to feel validated and heard. And everyone deserves that regardless of whether we agree with what they are feeling or not. For the so called ‘loser’ it just feels awful to be in that space. You feel unheard, unvalidated and sometimes my clients will also tell me they feel shame or grief especially when its a repeated habit with their partner – it makes them feel that they are betraying themselves!
Short term ‘gains’ are just that ….short term… if you want to build a solid and healthy relationship then mutual respect and understanding is a must skill to develop – I call them creating win/win situations. And it’s not as hard as you may think to accomplish.
Let me help you get honest….How often do you opt for the ‘short term’ ‘let me show him I’m right’ gain?…. the courage to go deep with this question can only bring about positive change for you so GO FOR IT darling, I got your back!
One of my clients shared with me that she was so used to winning with her man that even though she felt she was undermining her relationship she still couldn’t stop herself because she was afraid that if she gave up that power and control, he would never do anything for her.
Well the EXACT OPPOSITE happened when we got her balanced out! Sounds impossible? I bet there is a niggling ‘knowing’ inside of you that totally gets this dynamic! Yes when we are not locked in our power struggle mode and are connected to our feminine energy, we actually attract our man towards us. And wouldn’t you rather he chose to come towards you of his own free will over doing stuff for you to avoid consequences? (ie conflict and fighting….to a guy this is like a death sentence…cause it sets off his competitive nature to win…sometimes at all costs)
If you’re not sure if you’re hanging out too much in masculine energy land….here are some good indications that you are:
You are constantly pushing forward, in action-taking mode, your to-do list is your best friend and all this is making you feel anxious
You are always the one planning and taking responsibility in your relationship
You feel you have to do it all on your own
You are turned on by being right over being fair
You feel disconnected from your body
If any of these sound like you, then yes you are spending too much time in your masculine
and I’m pretty sure you feel tired and exhausted and even overwhelmed
So when a woman shows up in her masculine there is a good chance she will push her guy away
But even WORSE than that …it indicates that she doesn’t have a healthy relationship with her own inner masculine.
Our outer world is a reflection of our inner world so its time to dive deep inside ladies! I promise you the journey is well worth it!
My favourite word is harmony and this is how we are meant to live in our own bodies, in a state of harmony
When we are off centre, we are either pushing too much (more masculine) or too wishy (too feminine)
We are meant to dance with BOTH!
it doesn’t mean you need to be passive, hell NO. It means you need you heal your inner masculine and embrace both energies within you! I